ESC

Paris gets it in her eye

Paris Hilton

Something hard and wet hit Paris Hilton in the face while she was singing her debut track at Pure Nightclub and it wasn’t a penis. Hardy har har I’m clever. TMZ has a nice shot of a loyal fan chucking an ice cube at her face which prompted me to write this letter to the unknown assailant.

Dear ice cube thrower,
Nice arm. You are awesome. Marry me.

But wait, why stop at ice cubes. Rocks, thumbtacks and ground pepper are all viable options too. As they say, variety is the spice of life.

  • Rev

    I wish people would at least use enough of the cheesy “they let you grab them by the pussy” to remind people he was bragging about the things gold diggers let rich guys do.

  • LegalDementia

    Obama was actually a bigger racist than Trump but the “Nobel Prize Winner” is given a free pass by the liberal media and KoolAid drinking Democrats because he was something new and had to be praised and protected because of his color. His administration was racked with corruption (IRS, State Department, DOJ, FBI, NSA, Benghazi coverup, etc.), race relations deteriorated significantly (Baltimore, Detroit, Chicago, Dallas, Travon Martin, The Beer Summit, Black Lives Matter, Al Sharpton, Jeremiah Wright, etc.) under useless Barry. He gave us Hillary Clinton, hilariously calling her “the most qualified person ever to run for POTUS!” Together they wrecked the Democratic party for years to come and created racial divisions that may never heal. So when an asshole, pseudo-journalist like Erc Karnes calls Trump a racist…you just have to laugh!

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