Paris Hilton sleeps with monkeys

Paris Hilton

Ok, the title is a little misleading. She doesn’t actually sleep with monkeys. She sleeps with A monkey. It’s a baby monkey named Brigitte Bardot. In an interview Paris lies and says,

I don’t do that [have sex] unless I’m in a relationship. I’m old-fashioned when it comes to that. I really am!” Hilton told Australian Cosmopolitan. “Yes, I’ve kissed a lot of guys. I like to kiss, but that’s it. I don’t go home with anyone. I sleep with my animals, like my baby monkey, Brigitte Bardot.

Paris doesn’t stop there, she lies some more. When asked to describe herself this is what she had to say,

I’m blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I’m sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I’m nice – and I like to eat.

Bestiality jokes aside, Paris is neither sweet, shy nor funny. Manipulative, cruel and dumb maybe, but not those things. I can’t say for sure about the big heart since that’s more genetic stuff and I haven’t finished med school yet. Although, I’ve always thought animals could sense evil so shouldn’t that monkey be clawing at her face trying to get away? Ahh well, the mysteries of nature.

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2 Comments on "Paris Hilton Performs A DJ Set In Saint-Tropez"

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I wish people would at least use enough of the cheesy “they let you grab them by the pussy” to remind people he was bragging about the things gold diggers let rich guys do.

Obama was actually a bigger racist than Trump but the “Nobel Prize Winner” is given a free pass by the liberal media and KoolAid drinking Democrats because he was something new and had to be praised and protected because of his color. His administration was racked with corruption (IRS, State Department, DOJ, FBI, NSA, Benghazi coverup, etc.), race relations deteriorated significantly (Baltimore, Detroit, Chicago, Dallas, Travon Martin, The Beer Summit, Black Lives Matter, Al Sharpton, Jeremiah Wright, etc.) under useless Barry. He gave us Hillary Clinton, hilariously calling her “the most qualified person ever to run for POTUS!” Together they… Read more »
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