The leaders of the Church of Scientology have named Tom Cruise the Christ of Scientology. The delusional group of wackos believe Tom will be worshiped like Jesus for spreading the word of Scientology.
“Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure. Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”
They say this like it means something. My stuffed animals told me I was Jesus too, but I don’t go around blabbing to everyone how they’re gonna go to Hell because they ate my egg salad sandwich. I just quietly spike their coffee with ketamine. What’s next? A spaceship? When 2050 comes around, I hope you remember that, when Scientology becomes the dominant religion and bans medicine, Tom Cruise died for your sins so you could too.
Bella Hadid Sorry That You Wasted Your Money on the Fyre Festival
Lily Collins Shows Off Her Sports Bra and Midriff
Bella Hadid ‘Accidentally’ Shows off Underboob
The Rest of the Web, Friday, 4.28.17
Sign Me Up for This Napping Fitness Class
Beyoncé Ordering Food Has Turned into a Meme
Kids Who Want to Waste Thousands of Dollars Studying a Fake ‘Game of Thrones’ Language Are in Luck
Jennifer Lawrence Is Totally Marrying Darren Aronofsky This Summer
Katy Perry’s New Song Empowers Women To Have Food Sex or Something
Ja Rule’s $12,000 Ticket Music Festival Ends in ‘Lord of the Flies’ Nightmare With Kidnapping and Mugging Rumors
Obama’s First Joke About Trump Was Perfect
Rita Ora’s Gonna Regret This Outfit One Day