Britney’s first husband reveals all

Britney Spears’ first husband, Jason Alexander, gave an exclusive interview detailing Britney’s use of cocaine, ecstasy and downer drugs. The unsung hero tells of the time he saved Britney after she overdosed on pure ecstasy.

He confessed: “We used ecstasy at night to party and cocaine during the day to stay awake. Then we would take downers like Valium or Vicodin to come down and rest. Britney stayed up three days straight over New Year. I couldn’t keep up.

“I think we took too much. We were taking capsules with pure MDMA inside. It wasn’t pressed up into a tablet. It was the purest of the pure. I am a pretty big guy and at the time I was weighing 220lb and was extremely fit. We took two of those things. And it knocked my d**k in the dirt. Then it hit her and it hit her hard. In that situation, your body temperature heats up and you can die.

“She was sweating and overheating and her breathing was getting real slow. Other people were panicking. But we got her out the back and up to the suite.

“I took her into the bathroom and threw her into the shower. She was unconscious. She tripped and fell. I was trying to hold her up and speak to her. She wasn’t moving. It scared me. I was f**ked up too and tripping out. I couldn’t hold her up in the shower she was so f**ked up. She slipped and hit her head on the shower.

“I remember looking down at her all crumpled in the tub with the water coming down. She looked so white and lifeless I thought she was dead. I thought, ‘This bitch is going to f**king die right here in front of me.’

“But I managed to get her colder and colder. I slapped her in the face and was shaking her. Eventually, she came round and we were both just f**ked. So we lay there naked on the bathroom floor for hours just talking.” But the near-death experience did not stop Britney from continuing her wild antics.

Life with Britney was also all about threesomes with her backup dancers.

“We wore out everybody with us and they went back to the hotel. Soon it was just me, Britney and some of her back-up dancers who were with her. Eventually we ended up back in the room where the party continued. Britney stripped down and was dancing naked on the table with a bunch of her dancers.

“They were squeezing her t**s and a**. I was sitting off to the side, buzzed and watching it all go down. But later on I saw Britney walk back to one of the bedrooms with one of the female dancers. When she didn’t come out in about five minutes, I got up to investigate. The door was unlocked so, of course, I had to open it.

“Every guy I know would love to see some buck-naked bitches going at it and that is exactly what was behind door number one. It was like winning the sex lotto. Britney and this girl were having some lesbian fun, so I did what every other straight guy would do – I dropped my pants and hopped right into the middle of it and enjoyed every second. It was definitely a New Year’s Day to remember.”

Thanks, rub it in some more. Every guy knows there’ll never be another chance for threesomes with a prime Britney Spears. Four years ago people would have traded their left nut for that experience. Now that Britney Spears is bald and pudgy, it’ll be a miracle if people use a whiffle ball bat instead of an aluminum bat to beat Britney Spears off their junk.