Paris Hilton cited for being stupid

All Paris Hilton needs now are citations to make the news. People love hearing about dumbasses. Paris was cited for driving on a suspended license. She was coming back from buying DVDs in her Bentley Continental with her headlights off. Paris’ rep didn’t fail with the excuses.

Mintz said Hilton didn’t realize the car’s headlights weren’t on because she had just left a parking structure that was brightly lit. She was told by police she was stopped for not having the headlights turned on. Speeding was not mentioned, Mintz said.

“When she called me, she asked if her license was suspended,” Mintz said early Wednesday. “If that’s the case, she and I are unaware of it.”

You gotta be kidding me. This idiot crashes into things like a bumper car and pleads no contest to alcohol-related reckless driving. Suspending her license was the least they could do. The road could be lit up like a football stadium and it wouldn’t help. She’d be hitting everything from children on bikes to old people with walkers. By the time she made it home, she’d tell her assistant to take the car for a checkup because it was making funny thumping noises. Then she’d fall down on her bed in exhaustion and with a loud sigh exclaim, “It’s hard being beautiful AND smart.” Laughter could be heard, but where was it coming from and what were they laughing at, wondered the heiress.

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17 years ago

She’d have to go to the jail some months.