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Paris Hilton’s life keeps getting better

Paris Hilton's life keeps getting better

In probably the most wonderful news of the day, Brandon Davis made Paris Hilton cry at her own birthday party Saturday night. Rick and Kathy Hilton, her parents, spent a boatload of money for Paris’ party at Prime Grill. The flowers alone cost $10,000, but in the end there was no salvaging it from the greasy hero.

But around 10 p.m., Davis started acting up. “He was hurling flowers at Paula Abdul,” says a guest. “Then he began bombing her with Styrofoam flower-holders. He was shouting, ‘Lick my [BLEEP], Paula!’ He started mocking her ancestry by speaking gibberish in an Arabic accent.

“Stavros and Paris tried to stop him. Paris said, ‘Shut up, you’re wasted!'” But it was too late. Abdul, who was due to sing “Happy Birthday,” made an early exit.

Davis then turned his dim beams on Love. “He lifted her up so that she was straddling his waist,” says a witness. “Her Chanel dress was riding up. Brandon was saying, ‘I want to squirt on you.’ He was humping Courtney in front of her daughter, Frances Bean. When he put her down, Courtney grabbed Frances and they marched out of the restaurant through the kitchen.”

It didn’t stop there. “He was knocking over glasses and candles on the table,” says a source. “Paris was crying to her mother, ‘This is not my fault!'”

I’m just gonna call this guy Bacon Davis. I’m too lazy to keep typing fat and greasy in front of his name. Besides the begrudging applause I’m giving him, I want to know why Courtney Love wasn’t tearing through his pants after that pick-up line. Was it the delivery? Not sincere enough?

  • Rev

    I wish people would at least use enough of the cheesy “they let you grab them by the pussy” to remind people he was bragging about the things gold diggers let rich guys do.

  • LegalDementia

    Obama was actually a bigger racist than Trump but the “Nobel Prize Winner” is given a free pass by the liberal media and KoolAid drinking Democrats because he was something new and had to be praised and protected because of his color. His administration was racked with corruption (IRS, State Department, DOJ, FBI, NSA, Benghazi coverup, etc.), race relations deteriorated significantly (Baltimore, Detroit, Chicago, Dallas, Travon Martin, The Beer Summit, Black Lives Matter, Al Sharpton, Jeremiah Wright, etc.) under useless Barry. He gave us Hillary Clinton, hilariously calling her “the most qualified person ever to run for POTUS!” Together they wrecked the Democratic party for years to come and created racial divisions that may never heal. So when an asshole, pseudo-journalist like Erc Karnes calls Trump a racist…you just have to laugh!

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