Anna Nicole is still around

A lethal dose of chloral hydrate killed Anna Nicole Smith, but she would have been dead anyway from a blood infection, claims an exclusive report. Chloral hydrate is a sleep inducer sometimes used in date rape drugs. They go on to say,

In its most stunning disclosure, the report says Smith’s life might have been saved had she simply gone to a hospital rather than treating her severe fever, nausea and other infection symptoms on her own.

The infection resulted from an improperly sterilized needle injected into her left buttock which caused her temperature to sky rocket to 105 degrees and caused a painful abscess to develop. It is unknown what substance was.

*Looks down at unsterilized needle in ass*

Ahh, crap.

Meanwhile, G. Ben Thompson is so sure Howard K. Stern is not the father of Dannielynn that he has kicked Howard out of the house he bought for Anna Nicole.

“We did this only after we found out that the courts directed that Howard K. Stern and the other parties seeking paternity take a DNA test. We know that Howard K. Stern cannot pass that test in any way that would suggest he is the father of that particular child.”

You better believe Howard K. Stern has a plan. A video of Dannielynn wearing clown makeup tripping on shrooms would sell for thousands, nay, millions of dollars. People always go gaga for cutesy mother-daughter type stuff.

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17 years ago

I love htis story. I feel so much better now that the truth came out.