“Johnny and Kirsten had a very passionate romance – they were completely blown away by each other at first. They spent all their time together. Kirsten even made herself at home in Johnny’s London pad. But now Johnny’s realised she’s not the one for him. He dumped her at the weekend and has gone back to his old girlfriend.”
What man will love this monster now?! Even Quasimodo’s story isn’t as sad as Kirsten’s. A blind man wouldn’t even date her. He’d run his hand over her face and run away in horror. He wouldn’t get very far since he’s blind and he’d probably run into a parked car. Which is scary because Kirsten Dunst would be coming towards him like Jason Vorhees and he wouldn’t even know it.