Manhattan Mini Storage began running an ad on phone kiosks with a picture of Paris Hilton’s dog Tinkerbell and the slogan: “Your closet’s so shallow it makes Paris Hilton look deep” (seen here). Hilton’s hound of hell Elliot Mintz was notified and has since sent them a cease and desist letter. This makes the robotic Elliot the only man born without a sense of humor. Angelina Jolie could be squashing Jesus’ balls with 6-inch stilettos in a fetishist movie and he still wouldn’t laugh. What a freak.
In other news, our Paris Hilton boob watch continues this Monday. Implants or bra of the future? The answer may shock and surprise you. More after the jump.
Johnny Depp Dressed as Jack Sparrow, Forced to Entertain Pirates of the Caribbean Riders
Brad Pitt Calls David Fincher to Direct ‘World War Z’ Sequel and Save His Career
Emily Ratajkowski and Her Sports Bra Hit the Streets
This Isn’t Aaron Hernandez’s Gay Lover, Just His Really Close Friend, Says the Guy’s Attorney
Kate Beckinsale in Thigh High Boots, What More Do You Want?
Here’s Al Pacino With His 38-Year-Old Girlfriend
Scarlett Johansson Wants to Party With Her Doppelganger Grandma
You Can Get Dragon Frappuccinos Instead of Unicorn Frappuccinos Now If You Really Hate Yourself
The Rest of the Web, Wednesday, 4.26.17
Heineken Just Out-Pepsi’d Pepsi
Aaron Hernandez Leaves Gay Prison Lover Without Explanation for Suicide
Kourtney Kardashian Posted a Bunch of Butt Shots Online