I’m thrilled to see cocaine didn’t deter Lindsay Lohan from attending Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala. We wouldn’t get to see her in this cleavagey dress if it had and we would have been deprived of that awesome top. It’s like on the way to the gala she stopped to hug an angry badger.
After seeing this, I think I would be a killer celebrity designer. I’d make a dress completely out of chocolate. Then I’d tell whoever wore it that they’d have only 2 hours before everything melted off leaving them deliciously naked. And I’d ban ugly people from wearing it for two reasons. First of all, ugly people shouldn’t even be allowed outside much less naked in public. Second of all…second of all there is no second of all. I just threw that in there to make me seem less like an asshole. I think it worked.
The Rest of the Web, Friday, 4.28.17
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