ESC

Paris already has a roommate

Paris Hilton

A cell mate has been hand picked for Paris Hilton by officials at the jail she’ll be staying at. Disappointingly, the inmate is only there for reckless driving and not aggravated assault with a bloody tampon. Paris’ new friend is already waiting for her in their cell. Guards are currently searching and disposing of any electronic recording devices that may be used to profit off of Paris and have been warned that they will be fired if they take any pictures. A written “protocol” has specifically been made for her listing “when and how things should be done for her.”

I hope her roommate has a temper and some really strong hands. In fact, I hope the roommate sneaks into Paris’ bed in the middle of the night, farts under the sheets and pulls the covers over the socialite’s head. That’ll teach her a thing or two about drunk driving and violating probation. Did I forget to mention putting a bar of soap in a sock and clubbing her with it? I think that would be the focal point of the lesson.

  • Rev

    I wish people would at least use enough of the cheesy “they let you grab them by the pussy” to remind people he was bragging about the things gold diggers let rich guys do.

  • LegalDementia

    Obama was actually a bigger racist than Trump but the “Nobel Prize Winner” is given a free pass by the liberal media and KoolAid drinking Democrats because he was something new and had to be praised and protected because of his color. His administration was racked with corruption (IRS, State Department, DOJ, FBI, NSA, Benghazi coverup, etc.), race relations deteriorated significantly (Baltimore, Detroit, Chicago, Dallas, Travon Martin, The Beer Summit, Black Lives Matter, Al Sharpton, Jeremiah Wright, etc.) under useless Barry. He gave us Hillary Clinton, hilariously calling her “the most qualified person ever to run for POTUS!” Together they wrecked the Democratic party for years to come and created racial divisions that may never heal. So when an asshole, pseudo-journalist like Erc Karnes calls Trump a racist…you just have to laugh!

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