Paris Hilton is gonna get hurt

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton responded with a statement prepared by her fancy new lawyer in regards to the prevalent belief that she thinks she’s above the law. An idea perpetuated by those against Paris Hilton (read: everyone).

“After reading the media’s coverage of my court hearing, I feel the need to correct what I believe are misperceptions about me. I absolutely realize how serious driving under the influence is. I could not live with myself if anyone was injured or killed while I was driving while impaired. Clearly, no one should — no matter how slightly.

I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation.

No one is above the law. I surely am not. I do not expect to be treated better than anyone else who violated probation. However, my hope is that I will not be treated worse.”

This statement couldn’t have come at a better time. Jail is all about status quo. And lookie here. Life & Style reports Paris has already made a few friends in the clink. The socialite has received really heartwarming welcome notes (no doubt written on lovely prison stationary) that say she’ll “be beaten to a pulp” and her shoes will be stolen on her first day. Sweet. Kind of like a hazing. After that, everything will be cool, right bitches? Not so much. Other inmates have written less flowery warnings to Paris like “We’re going to get you” and my personal favorite, “I’m going to kill you.” The creativity is a little lacking, but it drives the point home like a sharpened toothbrush through the spleen.

Leave a Reply

2 Comments on "Paris Hilton Performs A DJ Set In Saint-Tropez"

Notify of

I wish people would at least use enough of the cheesy “they let you grab them by the pussy” to remind people he was bragging about the things gold diggers let rich guys do.

Obama was actually a bigger racist than Trump but the “Nobel Prize Winner” is given a free pass by the liberal media and KoolAid drinking Democrats because he was something new and had to be praised and protected because of his color. His administration was racked with corruption (IRS, State Department, DOJ, FBI, NSA, Benghazi coverup, etc.), race relations deteriorated significantly (Baltimore, Detroit, Chicago, Dallas, Travon Martin, The Beer Summit, Black Lives Matter, Al Sharpton, Jeremiah Wright, etc.) under useless Barry. He gave us Hillary Clinton, hilariously calling her “the most qualified person ever to run for POTUS!” Together they… Read more »
Load more