In a concentrated effort to avoid jail, an idea born from the dimly lit basement that is Paris and her handler’s minds, the soon to be incarcerated socialite attended Catholic church in Beverly Hills and visited her sick father at Cedar Sinai hospital over the weekend. The picture above is the collage Paris made for her dad. If I saw that thing, I’d ask the doctors to pull the plug. And if I wasn’t plugged into anything, I’d hide in that trash can where they put used needles.
Below are pictures of Paris dressed all in white, symbolizing purity *snicker*, going to church. Although, every time she tried going in, she would burst into flames. Newly re-hired publicist Elliot Mintz says it’s because God is prejudiced. Elliot then sprouted horns, a tail and hooves and screamed maniacally as he bore into the ground. Very strange.
Johnny Depp Dressed as Jack Sparrow, Forced to Entertain Pirates of the Caribbean Riders
Brad Pitt Calls David Fincher to Direct ‘World War Z’ Sequel and Save His Career
Emily Ratajkowski and Her Sports Bra Hit the Streets
This Isn’t Aaron Hernandez’s Gay Lover, Just His Really Close Friend, Says the Guy’s Attorney
Kate Beckinsale in Thigh High Boots, What More Do You Want?
Here’s Al Pacino With His 38-Year-Old Girlfriend
Scarlett Johansson Wants to Party With Her Doppelganger Grandma
You Can Get Dragon Frappuccinos Instead of Unicorn Frappuccinos Now If You Really Hate Yourself
The Rest of the Web, Wednesday, 4.26.17
Heineken Just Out-Pepsi’d Pepsi
Aaron Hernandez Leaves Gay Prison Lover Without Explanation for Suicide
Kourtney Kardashian Posted a Bunch of Butt Shots Online