This isn’t going to work

Paris Hilton

In a concentrated effort to avoid jail, an idea born from the dimly lit basement that is Paris and her handler’s minds, the soon to be incarcerated socialite attended Catholic church in Beverly Hills and visited her sick father at Cedar Sinai hospital over the weekend. The picture above is the collage Paris made for her dad. If I saw that thing, I’d ask the doctors to pull the plug. And if I wasn’t plugged into anything, I’d hide in that trash can where they put used needles.

Below are pictures of Paris dressed all in white, symbolizing purity *snicker*, going to church. Although, every time she tried going in, she would burst into flames. Newly re-hired publicist Elliot Mintz says it’s because God is prejudiced. Elliot then sprouted horns, a tail and hooves and screamed maniacally as he bore into the ground. Very strange.

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  • Rev

    I wish people would at least use enough of the cheesy “they let you grab them by the pussy” to remind people he was bragging about the things gold diggers let rich guys do.

  • LegalDementia

    Obama was actually a bigger racist than Trump but the “Nobel Prize Winner” is given a free pass by the liberal media and KoolAid drinking Democrats because he was something new and had to be praised and protected because of his color. His administration was racked with corruption (IRS, State Department, DOJ, FBI, NSA, Benghazi coverup, etc.), race relations deteriorated significantly (Baltimore, Detroit, Chicago, Dallas, Travon Martin, The Beer Summit, Black Lives Matter, Al Sharpton, Jeremiah Wright, etc.) under useless Barry. He gave us Hillary Clinton, hilariously calling her “the most qualified person ever to run for POTUS!” Together they wrecked the Democratic party for years to come and created racial divisions that may never heal. So when an asshole, pseudo-journalist like Erc Karnes calls Trump a racist…you just have to laugh!

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