Jennifer Garner paddles a surfboard

Listen Jennifer Garner, I don’t know why you’re paddling on a surfboard instead of in a canoe or in some other boat-like structure, but I do know what you’re wearing isn’t acceptable beach attire. Sure, you probably have leftover pregnancy fat, but that’s no excuse not to wear a bikini top. When I see pictures labeled “Jennifer Garner at the beach,” I damn well better click on it and see T&A. Well, in your case, I guess I have to settle for a little bit of T and some A. Anyway, wear a full bikini dammit and take those sunglasses off. I don’t care that you’re going to get “retinal damage.” Get out of here with your big, fancy Hollywood words. Only blind people are allowed to wear them out in the water.

A guy who cares. Kind of. Not really.

More after the jump.

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