Paris Hilton has ADD and claustrophobia

According to TMZ, the reason Sheriff Lee Baca decided to send Paris Hilton home was due to her ongoing battle with ADD and claustrophobia. Being in such a confined space caused Paris to suffer from severe panic attacks and at times, she could not even push the panic button. Oddly enough, jail cells have panic buttons. Today, she’s been crying far less and has even began jotting her thoughts down on a piece of paper. An excerpt from this surefire best seller reads,

Today was bad. I don’t like bad days because they are not good. I need to poop.

And so on. I think the major selling point for this novella will be that it’s the first of its kind whose sentences end with either a :) or a :(and sometimes even a :((. And when you read it, your face will be like o_O, unless you’re Hiro Nakamura, in which case, it would be {{{(>.<)}}} (o.o) \\(^o^)// – YATTA!