I thought I’d do a little end of the week recap because maybe you haven’t been coming here every day like you should. For that, you should be ashamed of yourself. Go ahead, punish yourself. There, doesn’t that feel better? Now that I’ve finished teaching you a lesson, let’s begin the incredible journey down my pants.
Oh, right, recap. Paris, Lindsay and Britney are still good for nothing idiots and make Elmer Fudd look like Einstein. Aaron Eckhart likes to put clothespins on his balls. Hayden Panettiere finally showed up in a bikini. So did Mandy Moore and Jack Nicholson still gets chicks even if his body is 80% loose skin. Some other stuff happened, but I’m really lazy, so go check these out.
The Rest of the Web, Friday, 4.28.17
Sign Me Up for This Napping Fitness Class
Beyoncé Ordering Food Has Turned into a Meme
Kids Who Want to Waste Thousands of Dollars Studying a Fake ‘Game of Thrones’ Language Are in Luck
Jennifer Lawrence Is Totally Marrying Darren Aronofsky This Summer
Katy Perry’s New Song Empowers Women To Have Food Sex or Something
Ja Rule’s $12,000 Ticket Music Festival Ends in ‘Lord of the Flies’ Nightmare With Kidnapping and Mugging Rumors
Obama’s First Joke About Trump Was Perfect
Rita Ora’s Gonna Regret This Outfit One Day
It’s Kylie Jenner’s Soulless Dead Eyes…And Her Sexy Midriff!
Kendall Jenner Gets Camera Shy Which Is Really Ironic
R. Kelly Sued for Nailing Sheriff Deputy’s Wife and Giving Her Chlamydia