Britney Spears being investigated for child abuse

Britney Spears could be under investigation for child abuse. An unscheduled hearing was held today at L.A. County Superior Court. Britney’s and K-Fed’s attorneys were present as was a lawyer from the L.A. County Counsel. TMZ says,

We do not know the specifics of the allegations but we’re told the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is conducting an active investigation.

This investigation is only a formality. They’re going to take the lil’ uns away. At least now she can go party 7 days a week instead of the regular 5. Score one for Britney. In court, expect her to stoicly say, “Please, don’t take my babies. Please!,” while winking really hard at the judge.