No one knows for sure why Mena Suvari shaved her head, but everyone knows it was a dumb thing to do. I’ve not met one girl who shaved her head and looked hot after. Then again, I don’t meet a lot of women. Nope, it’s just me and this mop with a wig. People always stare when I take Moppy to bars. Probably because I’m gonna get laid and they’re not. Jealousy is so ugly.