Mena Suvari was spotted running from her career in a skull bikini top with one pant leg up wearing insect sunglasses in Malibu. I swear. This chick is trying her hardest to look ugly. If I didn’t know who this was, I’d be thinking, “Aw, how sweet, a retard buying her own food.” Not retarded in the “that’s stupid” sense, but retarded in the “she’ll put out for a packet of Sweet ‘n Low” sense. You know, retarded retarded.
Alright…show of hands. Who’s the hottest white chick with a buzz cut, Mena Suvari, Sinead O’connor, or Samantha Morton from ‘Minority Report’?
By the way…nice ass Mena. (wild cat growl, whip crack, whip crack)
In the words of the great Hip-Hop philosopher, Ghostface Killah, Mena’s “…backyard is bangin’ like a benzy!”
For all Hip Hop-linguistically challenged, “backyard” means ass, “bangin'” means sexy or awesome, and “benzy” means Mercedes-Benz. Okay, that’s the end of today’s lesson.
I think someone loves Mena Suvari. I heard first comes love, then comes marriage. Then comes something in a baby carriage. A flaming bag of poo perhaps?