Tom Cruise wants to get naked

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are going to do their own spread in W magazine and plan on it being even racier than the one Victoria and David Beckham did. Keen to shed their wholesome family image, Cruise wants to show their sexual side.

“They are already planning the various photos,” says a source close to the pair. “Tom and Katie want to pose together in the shower, dripping wet and covered by nothing but steam.”

Gross. Luckily, I’ve already seen Katie Holmes naked in The Gift because looking at a naked Tom Cruise isn’t high on my list of things to masturbate to. Plus, Tom Cruise is 5’5” or 3’5”, I think there’s a 5 in there, which makes him a midget. If I wanted to see a naked midget, I’d go all the way and download midget porn. In fact, I’ll download midget / horse porn. If I’m going to scar myself for life, I want to make it worth my while. The Victoria Beckham, David Beckham photo shoot below.

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16 years ago

First they’ll have to surgically remove his middle age man blazer…

16 years ago

please don’t make me pluck my eyes out and have to have my brain sanitized