K-Fed might die

ET is reporting that the LAPD and FBI are investigating a possible contract hit on Kevin Federline’s life. They also claim to have been working on this story for the past two months.

Multiple sources tell ET that the FBI made attempts to contact Federline to inform him of the potential danger.
Sources within the FBI tell ET that this is the bureau’s standard operating procedure when someone’s life is threatened.

Everyone will assume Britney Spears ordered the hit, but you have to remember. This is the guy responsible for Popo Zao and impregnating Britney Spears, effectively turning her into a tubby pile of goo and ending her career. To say he has enemies would be an understatement. Besides, the only thing Britney knows how to order is a number four. Supersized. With extra mayo.

The picture up top is the secret witness, a former bodyguard.

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15 years ago

Wwwwell, it turns out the alleged assassination plot wasn’t true. Right about now, K-Fed is feeling conflicted with being relieved he won’t be killed and being dissappointed that he wasn’t important enough for someone to order a hit on him. In anycase, I’m glad it wasn’t Big Tony. K-Fed would go out in the worst way if that was the case. I don’t doubt that Big Tony would eat him.