You better not watch Mariah Carey pee

If you think your sly plan of hiding in the lady’s room to watch Mariah Carey pee will work, then you’re in for a rude awakening. After imbibing a fair amount of drink at VH1’s Music Cares event, the singer invaded the bathroom with two bodyguards.

Two women already there say her security tried to evict them, but they refused to leave. Says one: “One of the bodyguards said to us, ‘If you’re going to stay, you better not watch Mariah pee.’  ”

That’s the first thing I think about when a big star comes into the bathroom. How am I going to watch them take a leak? For male movie stars it’s pretty easy because they use urinals. It’s a little harder for girls because everyone uses a stall. You’d have to stand on the toilet seat, quietly peer over the divider and not launch into an obscenity filled tirade when you slip and fall into the toilet. Not that this black eye has anything to do with that. I’m just thinking out loud.