ESC

Heidi Montag is still retarded

Heidi Montag

The only thing more ridiculous than Heidi Montag’s plastic tits and reconstructed nose is her dumb poses. Don’t look too convincing blondie. We wouldn’t want to fool anyone into thinking you’re more than just Spencer Pratt’s soulless vessel devoid of any humanity or brain cells. People might start putting you in movies or something. Then where will we be? Probably in the fetal position crying about how God has left us.

I sincerely hope at one of these fake candid photo shoots she falls and cracks her head on some rocks and then while she’s temporarily paralyzed, a seagull comes and pecks one of her eyes out and then, just for good measure, someone kicks sand into her vagina.

Heidi Montag fake poses againHeidi Montag fake poses againHeidi Montag fake poses againHeidi Montag fake poses againHeidi Montag fake poses again

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b
b
12 years ago

hrm, her nips look like they are sitting to high .. may be it’s an anti-aging precaution.

Victor
12 years ago

Her nipples are praying

chewy
chewy
12 years ago

she looks like tori spelling, pre-surgery. what kind of “celebrity” has to pose on the beach to get publicity? sad…

Capt. Cornhole
Capt. Cornhole
12 years ago

She has a very nice back. I wouldn’t mind gazing across it while I was jamming my corndog into her tight little turd squirter.
Also, at a glance of her crotch, she might not be keeping her kitty clean shaven. That’s a big NO-NO for Capt. Cornhole. She needs to keep the chitlin’s smooth and shaven. Wouldn’t want to choke on a chitlin hair will eating the kitty.

j
j
12 years ago

someone needs to stick erm something in her mouth. it’s open to much and she might talk.

Chereth Cutestory
Chereth Cutestory
12 years ago

Can someone PLEASE creatively photoshop the second to last photo? Please?

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