ESC

Heidi Montag is still retarded

Heidi Montag

The only thing more ridiculous than Heidi Montag’s plastic tits and reconstructed nose is her dumb poses. Don’t look too convincing blondie. We wouldn’t want to fool anyone into thinking you’re more than just Spencer Pratt’s soulless vessel devoid of any humanity or brain cells. People might start putting you in movies or something. Then where will we be? Probably in the fetal position crying about how God has left us.

I sincerely hope at one of these fake candid photo shoots she falls and cracks her head on some rocks and then while she’s temporarily paralyzed, a seagull comes and pecks one of her eyes out and then, just for good measure, someone kicks sand into her vagina.

Heidi Montag fake poses againHeidi Montag fake poses againHeidi Montag fake poses againHeidi Montag fake poses againHeidi Montag fake poses again

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Chereth CutestoryjCapt. CornholechewyVictor Recent comment authors
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b
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b

hrm, her nips look like they are sitting to high .. may be it’s an anti-aging precaution.

Victor
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Her nipples are praying

chewy
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chewy

she looks like tori spelling, pre-surgery. what kind of “celebrity” has to pose on the beach to get publicity? sad…

Capt. Cornhole
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Capt. Cornhole

She has a very nice back. I wouldn’t mind gazing across it while I was jamming my corndog into her tight little turd squirter.
Also, at a glance of her crotch, she might not be keeping her kitty clean shaven. That’s a big NO-NO for Capt. Cornhole. She needs to keep the chitlin’s smooth and shaven. Wouldn’t want to choke on a chitlin hair will eating the kitty.

j
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j

someone needs to stick erm something in her mouth. it’s open to much and she might talk.

Chereth Cutestory
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Chereth Cutestory

Can someone PLEASE creatively photoshop the second to last photo? Please?

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