ESC

Vince Vaughn did it for the presents

Vince Vaughn’s belief in Santa Claus was shattered at the tender age of 6. However, despite this startling discovery, Vince pretended to believe so his parents would still give him presents. This charade continued until he was 16, which, by then, had gotten a little weird.

I remember the day I had neighbors that let me know — I was 6 years old — that there was no Santa Claus. They go, ‘You know there’s not a Santa Claus, right?’ — and, of course, covering in front of them I was like, ‘Well, yeah. Of course there’s not a Santa Claus, guys.’ Then I went to my sisters, and they said, ‘Okay, now you know the painful truth, there is not a Santa Claus.’ I was the youngest. They said, ‘Don’t tell mom and dad, because then we may not get gifts anymore. You got to keep pretending that you think there is Santa Claus, or you are not going to get any gifts.’ I was like 16 going, ‘Dad, when is Santa coming down the chimney?’ My dad was like, ‘Look it’s getting weird, you are getting older, you know there’s not a Santa, right?’ “

I’m not sure why kids want to believe in Santa Claus. He sounds more like a horror story than anything else. If you told someone who had no knowledge of Christmas that a fat, jolly, bearded white guy coerces children to be “nice” all year long so that once a year when they’re sleeping he’d secretly slide down their chimney to give them gifts, they’d probably ask you if Santa Claus was a pedophile. It would probably explain why you have to sit on his lap at the mall to tell him what you want. A little tit for tat if you will.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments