Britney to adopt Chinese twins

According to Rav “Britain’s Hottest Showbiz Reporter” Singh, Britney Spears is set to adopt Chinese twins after full custody of her own two children was given to K-Fed. And she’s also planning her own funeral or something.

Friends feel that Britney has decided to adopt the two six-year-old tots from China in a frantic bid to fill the void left by losing her sons to K-Fed.

And in another worrying move for the former Pop Princess, I can reveal she is splashing out £25,000 on her OWN funeral.

Apparently, Brit has forked out the cash because she fears her spiralling lifestyle may lead to an early grave.

A source close to Britney told me: “It doesn’t seem that Britney has thought this through completely. Adoption and a funeral? The two don’t exactly go hand-in-hand.

Yeah, ok. I’ll go with it. You want to know why she’s adopting Chinese babies? Because she really loves Chinese food and she thinks they’ll be able to cook it for her. It’s an innate ability. But, Chinese twins weren’t her first pick. I can exclusively reveal that Britney was pretty bummed out when she found out there was no such thing as McDonald’s babies or KFC babies. Wow, I feel like Rav Singh now.

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