Here’s Cindy Crawford walking along the beach with her portly friend. I’m sure it must be easy for Cindy to convince others to do the heavy lifting. She can say stuff like, “Hey, why don’t you carry that luggage over there? You need the exercise. What? I’m just looking out for you,” or “Hey, fatty. Yea, you. Take my bag of beauty products, but don’t try to use them. They won’t work on you because not only are you tubby, you’re ugly.” I haven’t realized this until now, but Cindy Crawford is mean.