I confess!

Warning: do not stare at this picture too long. Nicole Kidman will steal your soul if you do. This shot of Nicole scares me. Does she know something that I don’t? Suddenly, my head.. it feels woozy. Yes Nicole.. I WILL do your bidding.

At least she didn’t go overboard with the botox this time. Instead of looking like the Joker, now she just looks like a Stepford Wife with a Secret. And here’s a question. Why does she insist on dating shorter men? I sense control issues. She’s known to be quite the diva. Shorter men would be easier to control. Is she a dom? I can totally imagine her in leather chaps with a whip. — Captain Swarthy

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