Britney Spears is all better, still an idiot

Thinking excuses that held true when she was in kindergarten still hold true today, Britney Spears called in sick to her court ordered deposition yesterday. However, that didn’t stop her from driving around until 2 a.m. and traveling to her favorite hot spot, the gas station. While there, the fumes proved too much for Britney as after her assistant filled up the car, Britney drove off leaving her behind. The assistant had to call Britney to tell her she forgot something. I didn’t hear the conversation, but I think Britney wanted her to walk home until her assistant told her she had an extra drumstick in her pocket. It’s said that the screeching of tires could be heard all the way from Arizona as Britney made a mad dash back.

Meanwhile, MSNBC says not to expect Britney at any future court dates because she’ll most likely be sick.

“Britney feels like this is a perfectly acceptable thing to do,” said a source close to Spears. “She did feel sick, but more than anything, she felt like she didn’t have to do something just because she was told.”

“She would do anything for those babies,” one former employee was quick to point out. “But she really doesn’t believe that she’s going to lose them. She’s not connecting the dots.”

Britney’s already putting thermometers under hot water. When the doctor comes he’ll quizzically ask, “It says you have a fever of 160 degrees Fahrenheit.” “That is correct, Sir,” Britney will reply followed by a quick succession of fake coughs. The doctor will give a blank stare, throw his hands up and walk away. Britney will throw her hands up and do a victory dance.

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