Britney writes Paris hate mail

The Daily Star claims Britney wants to blow Paris’ new sex secret because the socialite walked by Britney while she was celebrating her 26 birthday party and didn’t wish her a happy birthday. In a letter written to Paris, Britney threatens to release a One Night In Paris type sex tape on the web if Paris doesn’t start being more respectful.

“The letter also claims the tape shows footage of Paris locking lips with one of Britney’s female friends at a party. “It warns Paris that if she continues being rude to people, the footage will be leaked online.”

Oh, I know. I couldn’t believe it either. Britney wrote a letter? This has got to be made up. The only time Britney writes is when she signs a receipt for deep fried avocados or deep fried Oreo cookies or, if there’s nothing left to deep fry, the leftover grease from the deep fryer.