Criss Angel breaks up marriages

Pamela Anderson

Criss Angel may have been the cause of Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon’s sudden divorce announcement and subsequent no divorce announcement. Pamela was cozying up to Criss at LAX after her final performance with Hans Klok while Rick was at a poker tournament. Rick found out and became pissed and jealous and they had a big fight.

“It was just another log on the fire. Their relationship is so volatile [that] I’m sure this won’t be the last time she files, but nothing happened with her and Criss; they were just hanging out.” Anderson is wary of jealous men, as her last husband, Kid Rock, had “jealousy issues.”

You have issues when goth boy Criss Angel makes you jealous. He’s a walking parody of himself. Being jealous of him is like being jealous of the tampon in your girlfriend. The only reason women hang out with him is because he knows magic, but eventually putting a nail through your hand gets old. In fact, don’t even hang out with Criss, he’ll just bore you. If you want real magic, come to me. I got way better tricks. My favorite is this jaw dropper I pull off during sex. When I’m holing out a girl, I awkwardly ask her if she wants to be amazed. After she says, “Yes, finally,” I get real mad, wave my hands in the air and go, “For my next trick, I’ll make your orgasm disappear.” Then I come. Ta-da.

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