Today is the worst day ever

Today might be “kill yourself” day because in addition to Jessica Alba’s pregnancy, there are reports that James Blunt has taken the virginities of hundreds of chalet girls in a Switzerland resort. But, wait. There’s more. Each of his victims conquests proudly wears a shirt that reads “James Blunt took my virginity”.

“He does very well for himself when he comes here,” a resort regular said. “Last season, I saw loads of the chalet girls working out there wearing T-shirts emblazoned with ‘James Blunt took my virginity’.

“I can’t believe he’s had all of them but, going on his previous form, I suppose you can never rule anything out.”

I don’t know how this goofy looking bitch does it. He literally looks like Goofy from Disney. He should be living in sewers not taking the virginity of hundreds of snow bunnies. He has that one song. This story doesn’t even make sense. Unless they forgot to put in the part about him holding their families hostage, in which case, then it makes perfect sense. What would add more credibility to this story are pictures of the girls wearing this t-shirt and pictures of the same girls naked. That way I can extensively study them. In the bathroom.

Here’s Petra Nemcova because she used to date James Blunt and if I see Blunt’s face one more time, I’ll punch a hole through my monitor.

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