ESC

Avril Lavigne isn’t pregnant

How very phallic

A rep for Avril Lavigne is denying rumors that the “punk rocker” is pregnant with Deryck Whibley’s child. The rumors began when Canadian radio host Zack Taylor wrote,

“Avril is a month-and-a-half pregnant and that her husband, Deryck Whibley has been telling all his friends that he’s excited to be a father.”

I’m appalled at the thought of Deryck Whibley having sex with Avril Lavigne. He looks like a baby Shrek and she’s pretty. This might have been acceptable in medieval times, but not now. Now we have laws against that sort of stuff. Also, why even marry that guy when my Herculean body is walking the streets? Color me confused. Avril marrying Deryck was probably one of the greatest insults to my six pack. Right after the one about it being drawn on. It’s not. It’s more like etched on.

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capt. cornhole
capt. cornhole
12 years ago

I’ll bet she saves her dripping tampons in zip lock baggies and uses them later as rollers in her hair to get that nice pink stripe.

H.
H.
12 years ago

She so NOT pretty…That was an awful nice attempt at a compliment, though. Next time, try something a little more believable.

DARXYDE 666
DARXYDE 666
12 years ago

I never really paid any attention to loser deryuck, until I saw this, and you’re right he looks like shrek jr. I hope she’s not doing all those things guys fantasize about, to him. ewe, gross, I’m gonna throw up now

Tekk35
Tekk35
12 years ago

I think she is pregnant. Huge trend going around with Christina, Nicole, Jamie Lynn and Jessica…Only stupid people are breeding.

i love that song.

Rick Da Ruler
Rick Da Ruler
12 years ago

If she ain’t preggers, I definitely wouldn’t mind going through the motions w/her to help get her there…Her face is always so stunning in pics w/that smooth-looking alabaster doll skin of hers(EXCEPT FOR WHEN SHE SMILES TOO BIG & YOU CAN SEE THOSE COBRA FANGS)..File them bad boys down already baby… Another petite thang w/smokin hott lil shape…I hate to say it out loud, but with these kinda gurls(punk/goth/chicks)unfortunately, as a man, you sometimes wonder if they’re keeping that kitty kat of theirs clean…That being said though, I believe that I would still risk it & dive in face first… Read more »

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