ESC

Babies everywhere

Christina Aguilera Nicole Richie

Christina Aguilera gave birth at Cedars-Sinai today. Life & Style confirms. I’m told the baby came out covered in body hair. Husband Jordan was heard grunting with joy.

Meanwhile, Nicole Richie also gave birth to a 6 lb. 7 oz. baby girl at Cedars. She named her Harlow Winter Kate Madden which means anorexic whore in French. No, just kidding. I never took French.

Courtney Thorne-Smith also gave birth today. Who? Yea, exactly.

David Alan Grier also welcomed a girl today. Hey, is there anyone else? I don’t want to have to leave just to come back and talk about another stupid baby.

Update: E! News says Christina didn’t give birth. Uh, I don’t know why I wrote not pregnant. “Baby has arrived. Mom and dad are doing well!” Shut up!

  • Congrats! I hope that their babies are healthy!
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  • capt. cornhole

    Alrighty then….Xtina’s jugs will be squirting milk like mad any second now! I wonder if she’s taking orders? Or where the line starts to take a hit off those monsters.

    Do you think since she pierced her nipple(s??) that the milk will squirt sideways if she’s having a heavy milking day?

    I could mix my cream w/ her milk….give her something really yummy to gnaw on!

  • capt. cornhole

    By contrast, Nicole there, I wouldn’t even line up for a pity suck on her puny tits.
    Her sagging fun bags are going to put out about a tablespoon of skim milk laced w/ caffine!

    On the up side in both cases both girls cooters are going to be out of comish for a while, so it’s cornholing all around. They might even have a hemmoroid or two to push against..

    Nothing feels better rubbing against your rod while cornholing that a swollen hemmroid!

  • Rick Da Ruler

    XTina is amazingly beautiful to me…WHAT A VOICE(&SEXY-ASS BODY TO MATCH)…That Nicole thing though…Oh Boy, WHAT A FREAKIN ANOREXIC DRUGGIE MESS SHE IS(or hopefully for her & the baby’s sake, WAS)…Good Luck to them both though…

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