Britney found “under the influence of an unknown substance”

Britney Spears finally attended her deposition yesterday, but decided to go bat s**t insane later in the night. Police were called to Britney’s house at around 8 p.m. to resolve a custody dispute between the pop star and her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, after the train-wreck refused to hand over Jayden James to K-Fed’s bodyguards (Sean Preston was taken earlier in the day). While mediating the dispute, the cops discovered Britney Spears was “under the influence of an unknown substance.” Ambulances, fire trucks, multiple police cruisers and even a police chopper soon made their way to Britney’s house. She was then strapped to a gurney and taken to Cedars-Sinai where she flipped off the paparazzi as she was wheeled out of the ambulance. She is now on “medical hold” which is just a fancy way of saying she’s undergoing a mental evaluation. The LAPD told OK! Magazine,

“We are concerned about her mental state and believe she may be under the influence,” an LAPD officer reveals to OK!.

While witnesses describe Britney as definitely being on drugs,

“She was sobbing as she was taken out of her house on a gurney.” When she arrived at the hospital, she had managed to force herself to sit straight upright, despite being strapped into the gurney. “Her eyes were like pinholes,” another witness recalls to OK!.

*cough* Attention whore *cough* So, not only is she sleeping with married paparazzo, Adnan Ghalib, she’s also holding her babies hostage. Fantastic. Although, if you think about it, Britney holding her kids hostage is no big deal since rescuing them is easy. According to that episode of MythBusters I saw, all you have to do is distract Britney by dangling a pork chop covered in whipped cream and chocolate syrup in front of her while someone goes to grab the children. Then when the kids are safe, hit her with a shovel. That last part wasn’t in the episode. Could you tell?

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