ESC

Heidi Montag does things in a bikini

I’ve long wondered what plans Heidi Montag has for herself in the future. Would she surprise me and become a scholar? A teacher? A physicist? President? Most likely not since these things require thinking and thinking hurts. Undoubtedly, the last time she used her brain was in 2003 where she figured out you don’t need smarts when you’re relatively attractive. Opening up her skull today you would find only a puddle of grey matter where her brain atrophied and liquefied. Although, she does have a nice ass. I’ll give her that.

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Rick Da Ruler
Rick Da Ruler
16 years ago

She is so F’n annoying and really no celebrity to speak of, but I gotta admit that that ody is looking kinda right…her boob job is fantastic…but those droopy dawg eyes take away form her bimboness so much…Nevertheless she’s highly boffable(as long as she doesn’t talk too much about herself)…

capt. cornhole
capt. cornhole
16 years ago

while cute and attractive, everything above the waist is…well… a waste.

To start, several anal fisting lessons are in order. Then the only thing she would need to head to the beach for is an ocean water enema. Which is quite soothing after you’ve had a fist up to your transverse colon.

Although a piss enema has its attractions too. Make her hold a 6 pack worth of piss in her bowels after she’s had a monster man paw slid up her cornhole..

mmm mmm

IShouldBeACeleb2
IShouldBeACeleb2
16 years ago

Why is she famous?!?!?!?!

freda
freda
16 years ago

this girl is just gross…i see nothing to be impressed about…and she’s famous why??????????

greg
greg
16 years ago

what does that douche of a boyfriend actually do for a living?