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Lily Allen likes it up the butt

Lily Allen

You can tell Lily Allen is quite adventurous. She’s photographed a lot leaving the pubs in the UK, getting pregnant, singing in music videos with masturbating muppets… And now, comes her mildly shocking admission of anal sex.

Lily, the daughter of actor Keith Allen, said: “I was with mum dad, his wife and my sister. We were all sitting round and I said my nipples really hurt today.

“My dad’s wife said maybe you’re pregnant. I said no I’m not pregnant and my dad went: ‘Are you telling me you and your boyfriend have had sex?’

“I said: ‘Well yes but I didn’t think you could have sex by having it in the bum bum!’

“I thought I would write a song about it that goes: ‘I didn’t know you could pregnant from the bum bum’.”

I say mildly shocking only because you could “accidentally” slip it in there and she wouldn’t mind. She’d just smile and say “Oh bollocks! Your willy is up my arse… Well, as long as you’re there..”

However, bait-and-switch anal sex is no laughing matter. Unless you’re in prison. Then it’s hysterical.

Guest contributor: Captain Swarthy

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Rick Da RulerPhillip McCrackencapt. cornholeL'0rd Recent comment authors
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L'0rd
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anal sex with midgets might be something fun,right?

capt. cornhole
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capt. cornhole

With midgets you must super lube and not just the midget cornhole. You must lube deep. Most midgets has short colons as well, so you need to lube up to transverse colon so you don’t tear the colon. Midgets like most normal people don’t care for the whole perferated colon thing…it’s a real pain in the cornhole. Also, I’ve found most midgets to have irritable bowel syndrom (IBS), which can make cornholing a bit messy. Myself, I get off on a bit of crap mixed with the crisco…makes this kinky brown frosting mixture which gets slathered all along my corncob!

Phillip McCracken
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id put it in any hole, any time Lily asked me to.

Rick Da Ruler
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Rick Da Ruler

For a gurl who ain’t too pretty, she sure said the right thing here…For that she should receive all the proper anal worship that she so desires…Put me down for some please…

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