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Lily Allen soothes the hurt by shopping

Lily Allen

How does a girl cure the pain of miscarriage? Well, either by eating or shopping. Lily Allen picked the latter choice. I would feel more sympathy if only there weren’t pics of her smoking in the first trimester. Does she want her child to have a third eye?

On one hand, a third eye wouldn’t be so bad. I could be 33% more efficient at viewing porn. On the other other hand, I would be spending a lot more money on contacts. Hmm…porn or money..I think the choice is easy.

Guest contributor: Captain Swarthy

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Lili

Believe it or not but shopping soothes EVERYTHING. Break ups, miscarriage, divorce, you name it. Important note though: must have loads of money to be effective.

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