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Mariah Carey wants a cool voice synthesizer

Mariah Carey wishes someone could chew her food for her

Mariah Carey wants a Stephen Hawking type voice machine so she can talk like a robot to people (Stephen Hawking has used a synthesizer ever since he was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis). Currently, the singer has to communicate through writing when resting her voice before a concert. The voice box type thing would make her life much easier. The superstar says,

“Before a big show I’m not allowed to speak for two days. It’s boring writing notes. I need Stephen Hawking’s voice machine so I think and it comes out in a robot voice.”

I know what Mariah means. Sometimes at Disneyland I get so jealous when I see people in wheelchairs being pushed around. I say to them, “Dude, you’re so lucky to be in a wheelchair. My legs are f’ing tired. Not only that, you get to cut in front of all the lines.” They always well up with tears afterwards. I guess they’re just really happy at being envied since it doesn’t happen too often.

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Birch Barlow
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Birch Barlow

I’m always hearing about these screechy pop singers who can’t ever speak for fear of ruining their precious instrument. Do you know what bull + shit equals? I’m not going to raise a huge fuss over it, but I know and have worked with opera singers. Not one has ever done anything like that. Childish. If you can’t sing properly, take lessons.

slug
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slug

I wonder what her opinion of the machine will be when she finds that it doesn’t operate with “mind rays”? If I recall correctly, it works by use of a computer where he has to use his eyesight to find a word on a monitor and choosing it with his finger – the only part of his body that works. The things you hear on TV are usually well-planned out and many times written in advance. Otherwise, spontaneous conversation is much slower as he has to find or spell out his words.

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