Mariah Carey wants a cool voice synthesizer

Mariah Carey wishes someone could chew her food for her

Mariah Carey wants a Stephen Hawking type voice machine so she can talk like a robot to people (Stephen Hawking has used a synthesizer ever since he was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis). Currently, the singer has to communicate through writing when resting her voice before a concert. The voice box type thing would make her life much easier. The superstar says,

“Before a big show I’m not allowed to speak for two days. It’s boring writing notes. I need Stephen Hawking’s voice machine so I think and it comes out in a robot voice.”

I know what Mariah means. Sometimes at Disneyland I get so jealous when I see people in wheelchairs being pushed around. I say to them, “Dude, you’re so lucky to be in a wheelchair. My legs are f’ing tired. Not only that, you get to cut in front of all the lines.” They always well up with tears afterwards. I guess they’re just really happy at being envied since it doesn’t happen too often.