Reese Witherspoon saves Jake from killer dog

Jake & Reese

Walking down the streets of Westwood can be a harrowing experience. One has to dodge wayward cafe patrons, a multitude of Starbucks pushing triple decaf lattes in your face and now vicious puppies.

Our little nancy boy, Jake Gyllenhaal, encountered one such 20 pound Cujo. Lucky for him, his protector, Reese Witherspoon, was there to scare it off with her angry mommy face. “No! You CANNOT have any more ice cream!” Jake dribbled his pants when he saw that face.

After calming down, Jake asked to pet the now-tamed dog. Upon doing so, Jake squealed in delight: “He’s soft! Just like Heath. Can we get ribbons for its hair?”

Guest contributor: Captain Swarthy

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