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Winners: Blonde and Blonder DVD giveaway

Blonde and Blonder

Contest winners: I’ll be contacting you guys for your info so you better have left a working e-mail address… or else! Thanks to everyone who entered. If all goes as planned, I’ll be doing another DVD giveaway soon. Winners have 48 hours to send back their info.

  1. Zhen – Sex frogs
  2. Tanya – Blonde hitchhiker
  3. Karen – Blonde compact
  4. Cornhole – Ass for brains
  5. Dotty – Three blondes witness a crime

Are your two favorite things in the world sports cars and tai chi? Then this will probably be of no interest to you. Pamela Anderson and Denise Richard’s movie, Blonde and Blonder — easily confused with Dumb and Dumber — is out on DVD and I’m giving away five copies of it.

Comic mayhem ensues when two lovely blondes, Dee and Dawn, are mistaken as international mob killers.

It’s sort of like when I was confused for an international playboy, but not really like that at all because I’m both a playboy and international. Umm, yea.

I have no idea why people trust me to give things away, but I’m not complaining. Read the contest rules are below. Contest ends next week.

Rules:

  1. Come up with the funniest blond joke you can think of. Be original or at least copy one I’ve never heard of before.
  2. Write it down in an email with the subject “Blonde and Blonder DVD giveaway” and send it to theblemish (at) gmail.com (or) write it down as a comment on this post using a valid e-mail address (so I can contact you).
  3. Sit back. Relax. Wait.

I will choose five winners. Best jokes win. Note that this may be offensive to blonds which makes it even funnier. Also note that blonds may have a slight advantage because they’ve heard them all before. Provided they have the brain power to remember any. Har har har.

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Chereth Cutestory
Guest
Chereth Cutestory

What’s the difference between a blond and a washing machine?

When you dump your load in a washing machine, it doesn’t follow you around for a week.

Chereth Cutestory
Guest
Chereth Cutestory

What happened to the blond who bought herself a vibrator?

She broke all her teeth.

Joel
Guest
Joel

Why did the blonde cross the road?
To suck my fucking cock.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to suck my fucking cock!

Capt Cornhole
Guest
Capt Cornhole

My favs from over the years:

How do you get a blonde pregnant?
Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

—————————————————

How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still sticky.

—————————————————

How does a blonde moonwalk?
She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

————————————————–

Why don’t blonds like to be cornholed?
They don’t their brains being screwed with.

Tanya
Guest
Tanya

A blonde picks up a hitch hiker. As they drive down the road the blonde says “see this stereo? it cost over $3000 bucks!” the hitchhiker (a brunette) says ” I dont really want to hear about your stereo.” @ mintutes later the blonde says ” Did you see the paint job? cost me $5000 cus its mistic.” The hitchhiker says ” really I Don’t want to hear about the car!” 2 minutes later the blonde says ” oh and the tires! wow $6000 bucks in the rims and tires!” The brunette yells ” pull this damn car over!” the… Read more »

karen
Guest
karen

What’s the first thing a blonde says after sex?

“OK, so, like, are all you guys on the same team?”

karen
Guest
karen

two blondes are walking down the sidewalk and one sees a compact lying on the ground. She picks it up, opens it, and says, “Oh, weird! That girl looks so familiar!” The other blonde snatches it out of her hands…”Let me see! Geez, you dumb cunt, that’s ME!”

tuzzi
Guest
tuzzi

How do you tell if a blond is having a bad day? She has a tampon behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil. ————————————————————— A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, “You dumb blonde bimbo! It’s blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I’d come out… Read more »

Zhen
Guest
Zhen

The Nail ——– Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, “The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow’s stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?” So then the rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn. They… Read more »

Zhen
Guest
Zhen

Exotic Frogs For Sale. Have You Got Yours? —————————————— A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an ‘exotic’ pet As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of live frogs. The sign says: ‘SEX FROGS’ Only $20 each! Comes with ‘complete’ instructions. The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody’s watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, ‘I’ll TAKE one!’ As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, ‘Just follow the instructions! The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.… Read more »

dotty
Guest
dotty

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run – she is still holding the grenade!

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? It said “concentrate” on it!

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday? Tell her a joke on a Monday!

anon
Guest
anon

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

dotty
Guest
dotty

Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect. “Easy, ” she replied. “He only has one eye.” The chief was stunned. “He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!” He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how… Read more »

tonelope
Guest
tonelope

OK Check dis one i Hope no one said this one yet. hehehehee
“HOW do you Know that a blond was using your computer? If the joy stick is WET!!!!!! HEEEEAAALLll YEAH!!!

Tone Lope

abportail
Guest

that nice, lol

Love2Read
Guest

Why am I not surprised people aren’t lining up for this “free” giveaway

Zhen
Guest
Zhen

Thank you for the DVD.

Is the Signature of Denise Richards real or just put on by theblemish.com?

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