ESC

Gary Coleman hasn’t had sex yet

Shocking news. After more than a year of wedded bliss, Gary Coleman has not yet consummated his marriage to his wife/moving target, 22-year-old Shannon Price. In an interview with The Insider, a forlorn Gary says “It will happen when it will happen” and continues that, much to his disappointment, “No one will make it happen anytime sooner.”

Notice Gary said “no one” can force it. He didn’t say “nothing” can force it. So I’ll assume he knows a knife works pretty well in these types of situations. But before any of you get all uppity, let me clarify. I’m saying an angry, knife wielding little person like Gary Coleman would be so adorably pathetic that no woman can resist giving him pity sex. There probably won’t be any anal though. Sorry Gary.

  • capt. cornhole

    ahhh must be she’s not into midget sex. I’ll bet that little fucker jerks off more so much he scares her off.
    She opens the door and catches him….he looks up without missing a stroke and says” WHAT CHU LOOKING AT!”

  • Picturing that makes me hot.

  • capt cornhole

    yo Vic,

    what makes you hot?

    His short stubby fingers wrapped a round his stubby thin cock; or, that she see him doing it, runs to the patio and vomits?

    Is it midgets jerking off, or hot chick vomiting?

    it’s the later for me…

    keep them thin and trim round the backdoor.

    ;)
    Capt cornhole!!!!

    above is the real email addy…

  • I’ll have to go with the former. I’ve seen too much of the latter.

    Check your e-mail.

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