ESC

Gene Simmons has a sex tape

Gene Simmons

Get ready to hate life because 58-year-old Gene Simmons, bassist for KISS, star of Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels on A&E and fired Celebrity Apprentice has a sex tape. A website named GenesSecret.com (link NSFW) went live Tuesday featuring a sex tape of Gene and an Australian girl named Elsa. The website is an off-shore site operated in Panama whose owner has not been identified. Elsa is a spokesmodel for Frank’s Energy Drink, a Gene Simmons endorsed beverage, but Elsa is not Gene’s long time live-in girlfriend Shannon Tweed.

I wonder. Do you think when Gene’s slamming this blonde chick, ripples traverse across his skin like a shock wave from an atomic bomb? Do you think this may cause him a heart attack? Will it be sunny tomorrow? These are the questions I must ask myself in order to distract from the fact Gene Simmons is having sex on my computer screen.

Thanks to the commenter who let us know Valley Wag has a preview.

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capt cornhole
capt cornhole
12 years ago

Dude CAN’T be 48!!! That would make him like 6 or 7 when KISS hit the big time in the early 70’s.

He’s gotta be like 58 or something close to that.

home
home
12 years ago
LEE
LEE
12 years ago

Gee. That was kinda creepy. Yuk!

mailo
12 years ago

thanks!

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