JL: Hi. I’m Justin Long. I look edgy, but am actually devoid of any utility.
DB: Hi. I’m Drew Barrymore. I used to be unpredictable and fun, but now I’m frumpy and boring.
With any luck, that timely pop-culture reference will have revealed how I feel about these two.
How DARE you!! Drew Barrymore is most certainly not frumpy! Now back to your usually excellent observations, I enjoy them.
That old bag, Justin is way too hot for her. Mmm, Justin.
Actually the mental would go like this:
JL: Lots of girls think I’m way hot.
DB: That’s fine, I’ve been fucked by porn stars with cocks the diameter of your thigh. You’ll never leave my twat pulsing w/ orgasm. But you are a cute boy toy. Wanna eat my cooter?
JL: S**t! You sound like a Canadian cougar!