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Jessica Simpson is on top of the world

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson’s movie, Blonde Ambition, premiered in only eight Texas theaters back in December. It grossed $1,771 in its opening weekend. That’s an abysmal $73 per day for each theater. Jessica isn’t sweating it though because she’s number one… in the Ukraine! Her movie dominated the Ukrainian box office grossing $253,008 over the weekend of February 14. Her movie made more than 140 times what it made in the U.S. What’s the reason for her success?

“The former Soviet nations have a sweet tooth for straight-up comedies,” Conor Bresnan, editor in chief of Box Office Mojo International, tells PEOPLE. “When these comedies have big name celebrities like Jessica Simpson’s, that’s all that’s needed to sell the movie. Russian and Ukrainian audiences have an even bigger urge for escapism than Americans. So, films like Blonde Ambition will gross more than No Country for Old Men.

You know what else is popular in the Ukraine? Not starving and not dying. Also, pogs. I wanted to add bride snatching, but that’s more a Russian thing.

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capt. cornhole

—“you can’t fix stupid”—-

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capt. cornhole

actually her movie should have been Blond Abortion!

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