Kristie Alley owes it all the Scientology

Now that everyone thinks Tom Cruise is a whack job due to those leaked videos, it’s time to make it clear that the whole Scientology society is crazy. How will that happen? Will stories about them get spun into ridiculous scandals? Will the media come up with ludicrous theories based on their posture? No, it’s much more simple than that. They’ll just quote them. For example, Kristie Alley who was interviewed by the church’s official magazine.

Alley, listed as a founding member of Scientology’s “Super Power Expansion Project,” gushes about its Florida summit last summer: “I’m walking out an entirely different being, and I mean entirely different . . . My viewpoint on the fourth dynamic and mankind and other people changed. You know, I liked animals more than people! OK, I liked certain people, but the idea of ‘mankind’ – it really irritated me!” Alley continues: “Then I realized why mankind upset me so much – it’s because I wasn’t taking responsibility! . . . Now, I have genuine affinity for mankind . . . I’ve made decisions here, big, crazy, great, brilliant decisions here about the magnitude I’m going to help this group and help this planet, and it’s real . . . I want everybody in the universe to experience this.” Whatever you say, Kirstie!

What separates Scientology from the other religions is that when you talk to a Scientologist, you have no idea what hell is going on. You can keep a normal conversation with the Pope because the only thing you wouldn’t understand is the whole sex before marriage thing and the seven deadly sins which should really be renamed to “these are awesome”.

You can’t keep a normal conversation with Kristie Alley because she starts talking about fourth dynamics, OTIV, Xenu, DC-9 spacecrafts, thetans, auditing, the bridge to total freedom, ARC and KRC triangles… I bet you could throw in a few references to Superman like Krypton, kryptonite and the fortress of solitude and Kristie would get wide-eyed with excitement and want to do some sort of secret handshake with you.

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13 years ago


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