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Heather Mills is rich, rich, rich

Heather Mills

Heather Mills made off with $50 million in her divorce settlement with Paul McCartney. Peg leg said Paul offered her $30 million to settle, but she wanted $250 million. Originally, it was believed Paul was worth $1.6 billion. The judge decided he was worth half that. Heather now wants to appeal to restrict publication of the judgment because it “contains private details about her daughter” (read: makes her look bad).

“I am so, so happy,” she said outside the High Court.

“I’m so glad it’s over, it was an incredible result in the end to secure mine and my daughter’s future and that of all the charities that I obviously plan on helping and making a difference with – because you know it has been my life for 20 years.

“Obviously the court do not want a litigant in person to do well, it’s against everything that they ever wish, so when they write the judgment up they’re never going to make it look in favour.

It’s said that when the judgment was delivered, Heather’s lawyers and supporters let out a resounding, “Yarrrr.” With a cool $50 million, Heather’s first order of business is to request a diamond encrusted prosthetic leg be made for her, which is both the latest in celebrity amputee fashion and a way to give a symbolic middle finger to Paul McCartney and her detractors.

  • capt. cornhole

    I’m not a Beatles fan (they never had an educational TV show like the Monkies or the Partridge family), but that gold-digging crippled bitch needs to have that fake foot stuffed up her ass. See how well she could dance then!

    Paul McCartney should use a few $100K and get her bumped off, just on General Principals.
    Or pay someone to get her hooked on meth and toss her in a Tijuana dumpster.

  • Carlie

    Capt Conhole -Your words are those of an imbittered person. I bet she has achieved far more in her life than you have done. Get a life Capt Arsehole.. sorry Cornhole.

  • capt. cornhole

    ~smile~
    Firstly, I believe the word you’re searching for is embittered; however, I’m not sure you are using it correctly. Embittered would lead the reader to assume that you know what the cause of my bitterness is, that the reader knows what the cause is, or (in the most correct usage) that you are going to state that cause. None of which is the case.
    Simply, “….you are a bitter person.” would suffice. Which I’m not.

    Now on to Heather Mills

    Capt Cornhole Vs. Heather Mills

    Round 1:
    I was in the Army…Heather Mills got her leg blown off by a land mine
    Point to Capt Cornhole

    Round 2:
    I’m a college educated electrical engineer..Heather Mills is a former model who did soft porn
    Point to Capt Cornhole

    Round 3
    She fucked a Beatle..I jerked off to nude pictures of Yoko Ono ONCE
    I lose a point..and she gets a point..

    We’re even right now.

    Round 4
    Heather Mills claims to be a humanitarian…I gave a dollar to a wino.
    BUT, it’s easy to be a humanitarian with other peoples money.
    Heather Mills loses a point…

    Round 5:
    She married mourning Beatle…Did I mention I felt really dirty after the Yoko Ono event?
    She loses a point.

    Paul should have remembered “money can’t buy me love.”

    Score: Capt Cornhole: 1…..Heather Mills: -1

    We could go on and on…but clearly I’ve achieved more in my life, without getting a “leg” up from anyone.

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