Patricia Heaton is freaky

Patricia Heaton

Patricia Heaton was at the beach doing her best impersonation of Cartman from South Park. “I’m not fat, I’m big boned!” You might also be alarmed that she has no belly button. As you should be. That shit be fuckin’ craayzzeeee.


  • capt. cornhole

    Nope that look is the-day-after-a-cornholing-worried-that-my-fart-will-be-a-dirty-juicy-shart-and-foul-my-bikini-bottoms look if I’ve ever seen one!

    She’s got a big ol’ sloppy ass the kind that moves in every direction of the compass all at once with every thrust into her colon. Sorta like throwing a pebble into a pond you get ripples moving outward in all directions away from the source.
    Measure the wavelengths of each ripple over her sloppy ass, the height of each ripple, using calculus you could then determine the force of each thrust and the frequency of said thrusts. With that information you can easily determine the how deep her colon is getting penetrated, and therefore the lenght of the cock.
    Also by monitoring the variations in the ripples at ejaculation you can easily calculate the volume of ejaculate. Unless she swallows….

  • capt. cornhole

    Though, she could have pulled her bottoms off and is out in the water taking a shit. Just like those naked kids at all the 3rd world beaches do! A little brown trout!

  • Luke Calvert

    she has an amazing body for her age

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