Penelope Cruz does the bikini thing

Penelope Cruz hung out with Javier Bardem in France over Easter weekend. She in her bikini, he in his trunks. They made out on the balcony and relaxed in sun chairs lazily reading side by side. Later, they probably ordered room service which they put on their black AMEX card. After a lavish meal of oysters, caviar and chocolate covered strawberries, they most likely finished the night with mind blowing sex after which their naked bodies collapsed on a bed made of crumpled $100 bills and the fur of endangered pandas. Of course, I only tell you this to remind you that your life isn’t nearly as fantastic as theirs. Loser.

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capt. cornhole
capt. cornhole
13 years ago

ahhh, but I’ll bet he didn’t stick it in her pooper!
And that makes all the difference.

Money can buy you tons of stuff, but not if you spend it on a tight assed actress.

he could have given her an authentic Dirty Sanchez.

a dirty Cruz

13 years ago

another infested hole.

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