Natalie Portman might be dating the Wolfman

Natalie Portman

As reported earlier, Natalie Portman will be in indie/folk singer Devendra Banhart’s new video. What wasn’t reported was that the two may be an item. The world may never know how guys like this end up with Natalie Portman while handsome, strapping young fellows like myself are destined only to have supermodels throw themselves at us. Never an actress. Sigh. One can only assume his manliness, accentuated by his white rimmed sunglasses and purse-like bag, was too great of an aphrodisiac.

When a 10-year-old eating an ice cream cone was asked about the awkward pairing, he ran away screaming, “Sasquatch! Sasquatch!” Ah, yes. Sometimes such wise words come from the unlikeliest of sources.


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Was this whole “movement” orchestrated by The Onion?
Whoever is shitting out these women’s movements MUST hate women. ONLY explanation.

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