ESC

Tommy Cruise wanted: As a godfather

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, Catholics, have decided to ask Tom Cruise, zany Scientologist, to be the godfather to their son Max and daughter Emme.

“Tom is delighted. Marc wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to have a Scientologist as the kids’ godfather, especially as he and Jennifer are both Catholic. But in the end Jennifer managed to convince him to agree.”

A $200,000 “Welcome to the World” themed party is also in the works. No word on whether Tom will outfit the fraternal twins in spacesuits and fire them from a cannon into space, but if he did, it would be totally awesome.

Oh, and also. Tom Cruise would like to know what the un-dead like to eat. Is it just brains or do they fancy appendages too?

  • Bill Surman

    Trump has dispatched 140 helicopters, 28 ships, 6 Army field hospitals, 3 Navy seabee battalions, 5 US Army Combat Engineer battalions, 3 Civil affairs battalions, 2 nuclear subs capable of generating 2.8 gigawatts of electricity, given 300,000 tons of food, medical supplies and water from military stocks to Puerto Rico. But yea, boo Trump. SMH, Fucking losers.

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